im lost

Did it ever happen that you feel as if you are in the middle of a big gigantic crossroad where all ways looks the same… empty, scary, confusing and no help around???

Feel like I’m in one such situation. Some time we take few really bold steps in life where we think that good or bad.. lets do it. I wonder how many people would be prepared for the bad in those situations. Never did I give a thought about it coz never did a situation like that arrive before, but now I feel that though I have jumped into a couple of things very boldly and I was never prepared for the bad that could ever happen. Deep down somewhere buried, I knew that things can sometimes go wrong, but not once did I plan for it. Lol, no one really plans for it though.
And now what??? Which path do I take?

All directions seem to be almost the same…. Tough, tedious, full of twists and turns..And also I don’t find a path which might have a near parallel path to it.
Now I realize that I’m lost…

BELATED HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!

BOSSUU..memory LOSSUU....
do you think I’m not trying to hum the latest song here
nahhh.....
I forgot something really important

as a mark of reverence my deep appreciation
for all those teachers n elders
who have directly or indirectly taught me the values of my life
who at every stage guided me to choose the best
who taught me to stand for what is right.. no matter how hard it is
and showed me the beauty of sharing, caring and being for one another

"Guru Brahmaa Guru Vishnu
Guru Devo Maheswara
Guru Saaksaat Param Brahma
Tasmai Shri Guruve Namaha"

BELATED HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!

I miss my school time now. It was a lot fun then [:P] But something i was wondering here is, how come orkut didn’t remind me of the day?? Whatever is the occasion i find all the display pics and status messages turned on with the latest new. When YSR expired almost all the names were turned to "YSR we miss you, YRS; may his soul rip" and so on. But somehow i didn’t find the Teachers day message on any of my updates. I’m not blaming people for not reminding me (lol) but i think the day was worth being mentioned.

Time I’ll never forget

August 18th, 2007 the grand farewell that I received from my loved ones. The mixed feeling of pain- of leaving my loved ones back home, happiness- that finally I am on my way to achieve what I have always dreamt for, excitement- of travelling new places, meeting new people. Everything looked so perfect. School time was such fun. Made some wonderful memories together with friends. Though it’s not always good that I had experienced.. those lil fights, those patch ups.. those long walks and those never ending talk. I enjoyed every moment of it.

And then came this damn recession, forced me onto the longest break in my career, and to my happiness. Everything changed. Tension piled up, always a question of what next, what could be the alternative.. Never did I so much incline towards destiny, that in this one year after school I started believing in it. Kept trying in all possible ways.. but looks like the future holds something else.. Something more beautiful… something I have never ever imagined for myself…

Two years have so passed leaving some bitter experiences, teaching me a couple of things in the hard way, giving me so much of time to know myself even better… desperately awaiting to watch what the future holds for me…

Our Earth

The planet is going to peril. I want to change it. And I know there are many who want to do their share of effort for this. Let’s get to discuss a couple of ways as to how we can all do that together.

1. The first important issue is, one has to understand the impact of the choices that we take. Make wise choices. Reduce the consumption of earth’s resources like... choosing goods with less packaging. Think about the products entire life cycle from manufacturing to the disposal. Replace your non-renewable resources with the renewable once like the solar and wind. Travel mindfully, cut down on your greenhouse gas emissions. Think in a more ecologically friendly way use train and local means more. I
Know it’s easy to say but it takes a lot to commitment to get to work. But anything and everything is possible

2. Make your homes healthy and more efficient going green:
• Keep a watch on the home illumination. Replace your light bulbs as they burn out with compact fluorescent models.
• Use kitchen and bathroom ventilating fans as little as possible to avoid sending too much heated or cooled air out of the house.
• Check the setting on your water heater isn't overheating your water.
• Next major saving should be with the water. Its earth’s most precious resource. Using as little of it as possible not only reduces the energy needed to transport the water from its source, process it, and send it along the pipes to people, but it helps to ensure that there's enough to go around. Fix the leaking faucets around the home right away. Use as little water as possible when cooking. Use water wisely when you are washing the dishes. In general, a shower uses little than filling up the container. Whether you prefer showers or baths keep water conservation in mind and limit the amount of water you use.
• Practice green cleaning: use baking soda, vinegar, and lime, Borax etc., as cleaning solutions to many household issues than powerful chemicals.

3. Minimize your trash and de-clutter your life:
• For many people, if trash is "out of sight, it is out of mind" as soon as it leaves their home. But that’s not the end of trash’s journey. It’s just the beginning. For every item you throw out, there's hidden waste- the raw materials that went into its production and the resources such as water and energy that fueled the process, from raw materials to finished goods to land fill. And much of that energy comes from non renewable sources. The main idea here is to reduce your trash so much that you produce no waste at all. It’s far more practical and achievable way with all the recycling and packaging practices that are catching up with today’s "Green" culture.
A few tips onto how to go about this
• Buy less. Identify the difference between what you "Need" and what you "Want"
• Be mindful of packaging. Buy fresh food that doesn’t come prepackaged. Avoid individually packaged items. Take your own shopping bag; reduce the usage of plastic bags. Opt for items in glass or other recyclable containers instead of plastic containers that can’t be recycled.
• Lengthening the life of your processions: try to opt of processions that you can handle longer. That way you would be helping with a lot of waste reduction and avoid buying new items and getting rid of the old once and also save some money.
• Recycle as many products as you can. Try to identify sources in your community where there are recycle hubs and use them. You can also turn your garbage into someone else’s gold by just donating them to the needy. Offer your used goods to another person reduce waste and fits in with the idea of reusing as much as possible.
• Disposing of electronic goods: electronics have become an important part of our lifestyle. And they have also become more prominent contributions of our homes waste. If you want to get rid of your old electronics just find an electronic recycler near to you. Or if you want to get rid of your old computer and TV don’t trash it. Donate it for reuse by facilities like charity schools or social organizations. Disposing your old vehicle. Don’t throw it into junk yards. It can be reused sometimes or can be donated. You can sometimes get a tax benefit if you donate things to charity organizations [:)]

4. Make more green diet decisions:
Be selective about where your food comes from. Go for locally produced food stuff. This way you would save all the green house gas emission form the transportation of the foods from distant places.
Go for the local farmers market which would be open just a couple of times a week but which would cater to buying fresh local and organic food.


These are all small tips, in all the various ways we can save the environment. These small issues can be a great contribution to the society.

And I feel all this education has to be done specifically at the grass root level. Little school children have to be educated with high priority about these issues. That is an age when, whatever is stressed will remain forever. We have to involve children in the green drive activates that the school undertakes. Teach them the effects of whatever we do. Such things don’t happen in a jiffy. All this is going to take some time. Persistent effort and working dedicatedly will definitely bring a change.

I would appreciate the discussion of more solutions to the issues. Pour your thought and bring in more issues to light.

bye bye Rockstar

May his soul rest in Peace...

the essential

people struggle all through their life
try to get all the bloody comforts
no stopping at any point...

you get one and then
keep looking for the next
next best, that can make one more happy

a child finishes his/her high school
thinking it would be an end to his problems
everything will be easy then after

but no..

he faces the challenges of college
he is made to think
that college would be the end of the troubles

but no..

he faces a job next
and thinks if he can make a mark there
that will be an end

but no..

slowly one understands that
this is a circle that he is in..
with no beginning and no end to it
just as one problem stops
the other pops up reminding him of its presence

what good is all the struggle
without those couple hrs of sleep

you have been working all through
satisfying yourself at times and
satisfying your loved ones..
what good is all the struggle
Without those couple hrs of sleep..

Decision

Peeping back into the past… a couple of years back, I was never given the liberty to take my own decisions.It was always my mom and dad who decided things for me...

Which school to go?
Which transport to take?
What to eat?
What to play with?

But that was all when I was very small. When I didn’t even know how to question. Gradually I started understanding things. That was when the reasoning started and I kept asking them why not that, why this???

Math as a subject. why.. Why not something else?
Girls college....... why.. Why not something different?
Late night movie with friends... why... Why not once in a while?

My parents decided almost everything for me
What to do, what not to do.
Where to go, where not to go.
I was so upset…. Always used to argue… how will I learn things if you don’t let me make mistakes.If you dont give me the control..

and then suddenly things changed...
they gave me the liberty of taking my own decisions

I want go to America, be an independent girl, do my work in my own way… and they said YES… upto you.

At first every things was good... like it usually is. I loved all the freedom, all the individuality which was in my work. Slowly everything was in my control. I was the boss of my own life, I could take any decision I wanted to take. Slowly things were getting bigger and bigger. Questions about my future. Questions of peace of mind, questions of integrity, questions of self respect…. All stated to pop up. And it was getting so tough to handle things. Always had the question of “am I doing it right?” in my mind. I asked my parents each time if what I am in was right… was it right for me, was it right for them. But then I realized I will no more be getting any “To-Do” from them. The only answer that I now get is “You are big enough, you can make your own decisions, go for whatever u think is right!!!”

Huhhh!!

i hate it now. Hate it more than what I hated when I was restricted. I wish they could still take my decisions. Huhh!! But I guess it’s too late. I do not have the control which I can give back nor can they take it. Taking decisions is so hard hitting at times. So much to think about so little. The responsibility that comes along with it is so huge.

And now when i argue with my mom, Why the hell do you guys allow me to take my own decisions? And she says, the time to be protective is over. The time you be responsible is up!!

bug menace..

At a point of time when the whole world is sitting up and awaiting to talk about the glorious moment when the first african american takes up as the 44th president of the US of A, I am so dejected to talk about something that has been so badly sucking my blood out... and that is about the awful, disgusting, terrifying, unpleasant BED BUGS.. i even hate to highlight it but i just do that to show how much i hate them...i get up in the morning only to count the new number of spots they have chosen for the day, and force me to think how many liters of my blood have they suck today. It seems like crazy but i started studying about bed bugs now. what are they exactly.. how do they live... on what all they feed and how they do that.. And alarmingly i find that it’s just not me who is being tortured by these menacing creatures but a whole big bunch of them out there.
For the first initial days of my time here in America i never knew what bugs were like... like a fairy in a wonder land i always heard stories about it, but i never ever saw them... but wait.. What was it that i just wrote?? I’ve compared these gorsy bed bugs with the cute fairies... i dont think i really wanted to do that [:P] anyways, and now... when i moved to this new place and thought that my life would be really exciting now on... i find it coming so true in a different way with these monstrous bugs...but there surely is a bright side to it tooo... im learning about these lentils kind'a creatures these days. ahaaa... but that shouldn’t let you think that I don’t hate them as much as I do..

if i was given one wish at this point of time that would surely be to free this planet from bed bugs...

hmm...

or maybe not [:P]

the menace continues.....

ReSoLUtIOnS

New year z around the corner
n i guess every one might be up with their ResolutionS list :)

last year i resolved to make "NO Resolutions"
and i understood it was a veryyy bad idea... :(
every thing went on so hazyly...
was not prepared for anything.. but things just happend...

i dont like that now!!
i hate that feeling of powelessness...

but that taught me something
that its Destiny that finally will Rule
no matter what you do
no matter how hard you hit
its all in its hands

you gotcha do your best and just leave the rest!!

with all this in my mind
i have decided to make up my Resolutions List for this year

and

that would be working on to....



1. Speak out my mind aloud...

2. talk less... and think more :) :)

3. Do your Best and just leave the Rest


would be glad if people can jot down their piece of mind too.. :)